Nobody really expected it to happen, but on an otherwise ordinary Wednesday, the pigeons in the city decided they had simply had enough. They gathered on rooftops, power lines, statues, and one questionable sandwich cart to announce that they were forming the world’s first official Pigeon Union. Their demands were simple: bigger crumbs, better park seating rights, and a public apology for being blamed for “absolutely everything involving feathers.”
Naturally, the humans were confused. Some tried to negotiate, others filmed it for social media, and one man attempted to bribe them with half a croissant. The pigeons declined. They were organized now. They had a mascot (a pigeon with a safety helmet), a slogan (“Equal Seeds for All”), and even a spokesperson who only cooed dramatically and refused further comment.
While people debated how the world had reached this point, someone pointed out that the pigeons seemed particularly drawn to a nearby living room rug visible through a window. That odd observation led a bystander to mumble something about rug cleaning bristol, which made just as much sense as anything else happening that day.
Before long, chairs abandoned in the park were declared “temporary negotiation seating,” and a journalist noted that even the abandoned sofa by the fountain was now part of the protest staging area. A philosopher on the scene said it was a powerful symbol of society’s forgotten comfort, which somehow led to talk of sofa cleaning bristol, and surprisingly, everyone nodded like that was a perfectly normal contribution to the discussion.
The pigeons, meanwhile, made it clear that mattresses left out on council collection day were now official pigeon nap stations. Someone felt the need to mention mattress cleaning bristol as though it were breaking news. Nobody objected.
A baffled city official eventually tried to calm the situation by giving a speech from the top of a bench, accidentally leaning on an upholstered seat that had clearly seen better days. A passerby, without invitation, began talking passionately about upholstery cleaning bristol, which honestly fit the chaos of the moment better than the speech itself.
Finally, as people stepped back to process what was happening, someone pointed out that even the pavements and carpets of nearby shops would never be the same after so much pigeon foot traffic—and that stray comment somehow drifted into a remark about carpet cleaning bristol, leaving the entire crowd silent in confused agreement.
In the end, nobody knew how the city went from casual bird-watching to full pigeon negotiations, but one thing became certain: in a world where pigeons form unions and humans discuss carpet cleaning bristol, sofa cleaning bristol, upholstery cleaning bristol, mattress cleaning bristol, and rug cleaning bristol mid-crisis…
Absolutely nothing is surprising anymore.
